You’ve heard of long distance relationships, but what about the MDR (Medium Distance Relationship)? I am not really sure what distance qualifies as a MDR, but since I only live a few hours from my boyfriend, I wouldn’t quite consider it long distance. This is my first MDR so it is new to me, but I thought I would share a little bit about how we make it work for us both. I’ll start with a quick background on how we got together.

how we met

Chad and I met on the 4th of July in 2021 at a local bar in our hometown. We both grew up around the Brainerd Lakes Area in Minnesota, and even went to the same high school, but we never crossed paths. This is probably because I am 4 years older than him! We got to talking, he asked for my number, and the rest was history. The only downside is that he still lived in the area and I was only visiting for the weekend. I currently live in Minneapolis which is about 2.5 hours away. For the first few months we would take turns visiting each other every couple of weeks. When things started to progress, the visits started getting a little more frequent and we would trade off driving almost every other weekend.

In early December, he invited me out to Florida to visit him since he was out there traveling for awhile. I said yes, and the day before I was supposed to leave I got the call that I was laid off from my job. It wasn’t the best start to the trip, but it paled in comparison to how much fun I ended up having and the amazing quality time we got to spend together. On the last day of the trip, we had a serious conversation about taking our relationship to the next level and what that would look like. After a few days of reflection on both our ends, we officially started dating on Christmas Eve. We must have a thing for holidays LOL.

Q&A

What is the hardest thing about being in a MDR?

Maddy: I would say not being able to run into the next room with good news or bad news or not being able to hug or be in the moment with anything. Definitely the physical absence.

Chad: I would say not having your presence there. When I want to be around you, but we aren’t together.

What is the most rewarding or best thing about being in a MDR?

 Maddy: I really do believe that distance makes the heart grow fonder. Having so much time apart really make me miss him a lot more and cherish the time we can spend together.

 Chad: Personal space when we need it. There are those days when you just don’t want to talk to anybody. Room for self-development.

What advice would you give to someone about being in a MDR?

 Maddy: Communication is the key in every relationship, but I think more-so in a MDR since the distance can be a strain. You need to be vocal about what you want out of the relationship and make sure you’re both on the same page. If the person is worth it, then the distance isn’t an issue, it’s just an obstacle.

Chad: Have patience, and enjoy all the moments you do get to spend together! 

How do you know if the MDR is worthwhile?

Maddy: If both people are putting in the same amount of effort and work, and you see yourself ending up with that person, then it is 100% worthwhile.

Chad: When there is no distance that is too far away.

Phone calls or facetime?

Maddy: Facetime

Chad: Phone calls